Finding Peace in Motherhood
On June 4, 2024 I sat down with Tanya Valentine on her Momentum podcast.
Tanya started this podcast “…to serve overwhelmed Moms who struggle to find balance. It’s a place for Moms to find solutions to problems and get support all along the way… The Mom-entum podcast bypasses the small talk and gets right into the real struggles Moms face every day. We talk to real moms who are deep in the trenches as well as the ones who have been there and have come to share what they’ve learned along the way. Each week, I’ll introduce new ways of thinking and discuss tangible, actionable tools that you can implement to simplify your life and promote peace and joy in your home. Go from treading water to finally finding your flow in motherhood.”
So how did you get into art for wellbeing work in the first place?
I shared with Tanya & her listeners how I have always been an artist with an innate knowing that art “helps,” but without a clear idea of how.
During Covid lockdowns, my daily 4×4 drawing was a source of peace & consistency, but it also led to sleep deprivation and sometimes felt like too much of a requirement.
When I joined the Calm the Chaos parenting program later that year, there was a big focus on self care.
The big “Aha!”
I had a big “Aha!” moment during those lessons – I was putting all this pressure on myself to create a beautiful finished doodle every day because “art helps,” but instead of a finished piece, I could draw for a set amount of time. I could set the environment with calming music, doodle for the duration of the song, and then be done. And get exactly the calming effect I was looking for without the pressure or the late nights.
Ok, but what if I’m not an artist?
Approaching art from a wellbeing perspective is a little different – it’s about the process, not the product.
Tanya asked me to describe the basic process to her listeners, so I gave her my simple daily framework:
- All you need is something to draw on and something to draw with. It can be as simple as a gel pen and the back of a cereal box.
- Find some calming music. One easy tip is to search YouTube for “5 minute timer with calming music” and just pick something to start.
- Doodle a simple repetitive shape – as simple as a tally mark – until the music ends.
To get the wellbeing benefits from art, what matters most is what your body is doing, not what the final product looks like.
Is this really doable for busy moms?
Tanya asked how an art for wellbeing practice can fit in for a busy mom.
You know that phrase, “We all have the same 24 hours!”
Yeah, that one. The one meant to shame us into doing the thing the person is telling us we SHOULD do. It completely dismisses how wildly different the demands on our time can be.
That’s why this is so intentionally a 5- to 10-minute practice. I talked to Tanya about three ways to find time:
- A time swap
- Add 5 minutes to something you’re already doing,
- Find an unused pocket of time
We talked about a big mindset block – it feels like 5 minutes can’t make a difference, so why even bother?
Friend, 5 minutes matters.
It is a daily signal to your brain that you are taking care of yourself, that you are safe. Five minutes can give you a reset and refresh after a stressful situation. Five minutes before bed can help you settle your brain.
When art brought me through the biggest storm
I shared with Tanya about how my brain was in constant fight/flight/freeze mode when my kids were both in the midst of massive school struggles. Logically, I knew we were finding the path through, but my body didn’t feel it.
Leaning into art – especially the tiny daily practice – helped me process all those stress hormones coursing through my body and come out of that constant on-edge state.
What can I do today?
We wrapped up by talking about one tiny action someone could take to get started today. First, write down how you’re feeling. Just a word or two. Then, search YouTube for a 5-minute timer with calming music. Just sit with it, take a deep breath, and close your eyes. Afterwards, check in with yourself again and write down a word or two about what changed.
This tiny action gives you a reset and shows you have 5 minutes is possible.
Keep in touch!
And of course, we talked about how you can connect with me! The very best way is to get on my newsletter list, for twice-monthly encouragement & ideas.
Peace and art,
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