On May 28, 2024 I sat down with my friend & parenting mentor, Dayna Abraham, on her Calm the Chaos Parenting podcast. I met Dayna in the fall of 2020 when I took her Calm the Chaos parenting course, and then stuck around for the beautiful community she built of other parents on the same journey.

In our conversation, we talked about how I had all of the strategies, the knowledge, and the instincts to be the kind of mom my neurodivergent kids needed – when I was well-regulated myself. 

But with Covid kindergarten (fully remote), an extroverted little brother, remote work, and not enough sleep, I was burning out fast. 

I had no extra capacity, and little things could push me over the edge. So I invested in myself and signed up for Calm the Chaos – not to work on my kids behaviors, but my own.

Dayna not only talked about the importance of self care, but actually walked us through strategies that were doable for exhausted parents like us. 

I built my first 5-minute energy plan, the small daily activities that refresh & restore. And of course, I pulled art into that – a simple, 5-minute doodle while music was playing.

Through the course and the continued community connection, I was able to bring up my baseline calm, find tools that work with my brain, and started setting goals & taking tiny steps to achieve them.

I dug into how to support myself, just like I’d dug into how to support my kids. And that work made a world of difference in how I was able to show up with calm for my kids. What I was doing was sending my own brain and body regular signals of safety, growing my capacity to stay calm & present when my kids were melting down.

Life was NOT sunshine and rainbows when I sat down for this conversation with Dayna. My kids were having big struggles, and I leaned heavily into coaching calls & the community because I didn’t have the capacity to figure it out myself. 

I recognized that I could ask for support, and didn’t have to do it all on my own (I’m kinda the poster child of “figure it out myself”). 

I had no idea how vital that community support would be until I had it. Having a group of people who just got it was priceless. And in the times when I didn’t have the capacity to look for my next step, the coaching support helped me find the path. 

My art practice has developed since that first 5-minute energy plan, but the basic practice is still a 5-minute daily doodle. You can try it out with this quick-start tutorial!

Peace and art,